I just checked when I blogged last and it was the end of September! Hello – is anyone still out there reading these?! (haha) But seriously, time just flies by… the end of the year especially at The Dale. Winter/Christmas is very busy emotionally, physically, and ministry-wise. My apologies for leaving you hanging… but I hope that your Christmas and New Year was filled with a sense of joy and peace.
I would say that this winter has felt especially gloomy for me. I used to love winter and would count it as my favourite season. However, this time I’ve found myself feeling sad, down, and melancholy. As I tell people this, there is a generally sense that many are feeling the same way. Given the state of the economy, the genocide and wars happening, and the fact that we haven’t seen the sun in weeks, this is no surprise.
Until today! When I woke up and checked my weather app I saw that it would be quite cold…. but sunny! I hoped it was right (as I wake up before the sun these days with my four year old) and got ready for the day. By the time I dropped Charlotte off at school and was walking home the sky was blue and I knew the news would be true that the sun would be seen today.
Olivia and I took the subway and then the bus into work and as we walked from Dufferin Street along Queen to work I stopped multiple times and put my face towards the sun. The gloominess I am feeling is not quite gone, but shining my skin in the sunlight reminded me that the light is coming back slowly each day. As we approached Cowan Avenue where our office is we ran into a community member who taught us about sun bathing our eyes, something we often practice together in the summer (you’ll remember I wrote about it here). I told her I was thinking of her today as I soaked in the sunlight and how I look forward to bathing my eyes. She was happy to be reminded of it.
There could be some cutesy thing I write here about waiting for the light, literally and metaphorically. However, I won’t do that this time, although now we are all thinking about it! What I am trying to remember is that it’s okay to feel gloomy and to tell those you love how you feel. My family and friends have been really encouraging of the “sads” that I’ve been having this year and have prayed for me, sent me pictures of fun times I’ve had, and listened to me without judgement. It’s also okay to have gloom and joy co-exist. I was so happy to see the sun today, and I know many of you felt the same. Take that joy and stick it in your pocket for a rainy day…we all need little glimpses of light!
Peace to you this YEAR! I pray that you will find bits of light to tuck away. And I pray that you have someone to talk to about anything you’re feeling – good or hard. You can always reach out to me by email or message me here. I would love to know how you are.
I am a community worker at The Dale Ministries in Parkdale, Toronto. In order to do this work I must fundraise for my entire salary. If you would like to financially contribute to my work here please send me a message or visit thedale.org/donate.
meagan.emily 