To Speak Boldly.

I wrote a blog a couple of years ago now titled, “to pray.” You can find it here! It was June 2017, just two months after I had started at The Dale. In it I described how I don’t feel adequate when I pray out loud, and was often insecure in doing so in fear of saying the wrong thing or not asking something in the right way (whatever that may look like). However I concluded in writing that prayers can sound so different, can evolve and they can be varying in shape, size, and length. God hears us in our words and in our silence.

I still believe that this is true – that God hears us no matter what our prayers sound like. In words and in tears we can find Him next to us listening. And if we stop to listen in return, we can find some wisdom or direction from His Spirit. What I am also learning as I walked deeper into my work at The Dale, is that God can call us to do all sorts of things that we think we are incapable of. That can be anything from my work here that I truly feel I was called to do (and was the first time I heard God’s voice so clearly). To finding our voice in prayer and in speech.

Recently, Joanna and I went to visit a community member. We see him pretty often at his home as his decreased mobility makes it hard to get out to the store for groceries. This time around, he just needed some encouragement. Finding himself lonely, down on himself, and struggling he asked that we pray together. A couple of years ago, this would have really scared me to do! I would have found myself nervous, waiting until the last minute to pray – if at all. I didn’t think my voice could or should be added to the praying session. However since coming back from maternity leave especially, I have come across some boldness from within. I was not anxious to pray, and instead I found myself speaking boldly and confidently, praying over our friend with honesty, hope, and gladness.

He thanked me for my prayer after we had finished, and said that it was really helpful. I quietly thanked him, and Jo and I went on our way chatting and giggling about something else. That night as I ran on my route, I got a text from Erinn: “I spoke with P on the phone after you went for your visit. He felt you were “very strong in the spirit” today :)”. I stopped running, not surprised by her message after hearing something similar from our friend earlier, but confused. Me? Strong in the spirit? After praying? Out loud? Huh?

It got me thinking, maybe I can be bold. Maybe I can find the words. Maybe prayer has been coming easier. Maybe affirmation from friends is the very thing you need to make a realization about God’s mercy in calling the meek to speak in boldness. These are things I did not think I would find within myself. But God thinks bigger than we ever could. His Grace covers all things – my meekness and my bold tongue. He calls us out AND gives us what we need. What a great gift.

God has called me to do something else. Every year in August Erinn leaves for the month to take a much needed holiday. We miss her soooo dearly. Her presence is a huge part of all of us. And we celebrate gladly that she can rest during this time. While she is away, Joanna usually leads church service. Erinn has always made the habit of inviting me to participate in any way I feel that I have the capacity to do. This usually means I do not participate (in the way of speaking, I mean)! If I didn’t think I could pray in front of people, how could I do the teaching time also? No way!

This August, God has taken my no way and quietly whispered, “try.” I said, “Are you sure about this?” And He said, “Yes.” And so on August 22nd I will be leading the teaching time during our small outdoor church gathering. I have feelings about it – they are still mixed up! I would appreciate your prayer as I prepare for this biiiiig step.

I am grateful for a God that knows. That walks alongside and listens. Whether they are tears or bold words, I am heard and I am beloved. I am called… and I am trying to answer. Only by His strength.

Peace to you this week.

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I am a community worker at The Dale Ministries in Toronto! In order to continue doing this work I must fundraise my salary. If you would like to come alongside me financially and partner with me in supporting my work here at The Dale please leave me an email at meagan.gillard@gmail.com.

Charlotte Meets The Dale!

As many of you know here at The Dale we refer to ourselves as a church without walls as we do not have a building of our own, and often partner with other buildings and organizations for space for our programming. However, lately on Sundays we have LITERALLY become a church without walls. Since the health restrictions have started to lift we have been able to gather outside for church in the parking lot of our space here at 201 Cowan Ave. We use a large green roofed tent for shade. Each Sunday we take it out of it’s shed and the four of us put it up in what has become a very quick and seamless routine. We collect chairs from downstairs and carry them all out to assemble under the tent without walls which allows for a cross breeze. We space the chairs out and we set up our communion in a portable cake tray that has a lid, our wicker offering basket, and sanitizer/masks. And we wait. Each week 10-15 of our friends come to worship with us, and we praise how grateful we are for the opportunity to see each other again.

Because my hours are still part time, I end up only being around for church every third week or so. Yesterday afternoon was one of those times. Ian and Charlotte have been able to come and pick me up after the service is over and it has been the greatest gifts to watch Charlotte interact with the community before we all go our separate ways. Yesterday she was happy as a clam to walk up to people, wave, smile and laugh and run around like she owned the place. Everyone was so happy to see her.

Due to the COVID-19 Pandemic, my dreams of having Charlotte grow up at The Dale from when she was an infant were shattered. We kept her inside, sheltered from the virus and safe at home. This meant that she did not see my friends at The Dale, or even my co-workers nearly as much as I had hoped. Having her be able to come around on Sunday’s has been so special to me. Ian and I have been trying to “integrate” Charlotte into society (which is so weird to think about, and has been a journey in and of itself) and having Charlotte visit The Dale has been one thing I have been so excited about.

Yesterday as I watched her walk up to each community member and wave at them while placing her little hands on their knees as they sat, my eyes welled with tears. After a hard year of lockdowns and staying home, not gathering and being so isolated in motherhood I am grateful now for many things – vaccines to keep us safe and allow for more gathering, the love of community who cares so much for my kid who they’ve hardly met but have held faithfully in prayer, the innocence of a child who is so curious to see and meet each person even though most of her life’s interactions have been through FaceTime, and a community that allows each person to come as they are (even my sweet, curious, sometimes loud toddler!).

May this be the start of new adventures for little Charlotte!

In peace,

Meg

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I am a community worker at The Dale Ministries in Toronto! In order to do this work I invite others to walk alongside me in financial partnership as I fundraises for my salary. If you would like to make a monthly or one time contribution towards my salary as I continue my ministry in Parkdale, please get in touch via email at meagan.gillard@gmail.com!