let the story begin with me admitting that i upset someone on monday at lunch. it was unintentional and unavoidable – at the time i was unable to give someone something that they had asked for. unfortunately, although i tried to be as polite as i could and explain my reasoning, this person was still hurt. due to all sorts of context that does not need to be explained here, i could understand why this person was upset. the result was that i got called a multitude of names and was sworn at a few times.
my outsides let it slide. no, i wasn’t upset, i got where this person was coming from, i’m not hurt by what they said, etc etc. that was a lie. my insides were scared. and a little hurt. i was worried this would change things between this person and i. i was worried they would hold a grudge and be mad for a long time, and the truth is i knew i would most likely have to see them again on sunday, potentially alone, and i did not want to deal with the tension that might occur.
however, what happened next surprised me.
joanna and i were sitting in drop in a couple days later and i saw the person walking towards the building. my stomach fell into my big toes and my heart rate sped up. i told myself to relax but it was only about 15 mins after we had opened and we had 1 hr and 45 mins of a potentially tense and awkward time to endure together if this person came into the room. suddenly there was a knock on the door (lord forgive me, my hard heart did not allow me to get up and answer). the person walked in, stopped in the middle of the room in front of where i was sitting, and said, “i have to say something. i was awful to meagan on monday and i am really sorry about it.” they looked me in the eye, and i looked at them and thanked them for their most honest, not even embarrassed in the slightest to talk openly in front of everyone, and quick apology. they took a seat and looked at me again and said, “im really not a bad person.” i nodded and smiled at them with my eyes in the best way i could because i knew that to be true. and we returned to our normal colouring, talking, breakfast eating selves that day.
i learned a lesson that wednesday morning. we are going to hurt people. whether we mean to or not, that fact is inevitable. this person and i hurt each other in our own way that day but i let my heart be hardened. i was afraid. but my friend surprised me with her love and her ability to reconcile with me so fast. my heart should have been open to it, but i wanted to keep her anger out. by doing that, i almost didnt let her love in. and that would have been a great loss.
i am grateful for the lessons i continue to learn every day. i am grateful for my dale family. we get mad at each other sometimes. we let each other down. but most of the time, we pick each other up. we love each other. and it is a wonderful gift. people will surprise you… remember to let them.
It would mean so much to me if you were able to partner financially with The Dale to support my role within this ministry. There are a number of ways to do this, including CanadaHelps, PAR, or cheque. Please reach out to me if you would like more information on partnering with me in this way. Thanks for your support!