Looking Into The Face of Disappointment

Yesterday I was supposed to facilitate an art group at The Dale. It was going to be outside in the parking lot of our HQ, physically distanced, and safe. The goal was to give each participant their own supplies, and make leaves for a community wreath in which we would write on each leaf all the things we love about The Dale community. I had bought supplies and prepared the leaf stencils. The weather in the morning was looking up… or so I thought. About an hour before our group was meant to gather, I went outside and it was drizzling, damp, windy and cold. Now, The Dale is used to gathering here and there – outside and in. We are used to the elements and even have a tent for church outside. We are known for being good with going on the fly. However, strong wind and dampiness is not conducive to tracing and cutting delicate papers.

So I made the choice to cancel the group with the support to of my coworkers. I called folks that had wanted to show up and let them know. We decided to go on an outreach walk instead and give out hot chocolate (like I said, we are used being out in the elements). Suffice to say I was a bit disappointed. I had already felt like the day was “off” and this was just the icing on the cake. On top of that, by the time we finished outreach and I was preparing to go home, the sky cleared and the weather was lovely.

This is just how it goes sometimes. Things do not always go how we want. I know I don’t have to tell you that. Plans are going to change and days are going to feel off. Sometimes, that is hard to swallow. I was so excited to be facilitating this group. It had been a conversation Erinn and I have been having for a long time and it seemed logistically like this was the time to go for it. I was excited to get out of my comfort zone and “lead” a group – even a small one. I was excited to add this to the list of ways I have grown in my capacity, however small it may seem. And in one cloudy, windy, wet hour all those things went down the literal drain.

Now that I have had time to digest, this is not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. It’s okay that I was disappointed and frustrated that things did not go to plan. And it is okay to want to try again one day when the weather permits. There are much larger things on the scale of life disappointments that can take the cake in terms of “hard stuff”. But it was a good reminder of what I would have written on my leaf had we had the art group:

I love that The Dale teaches me resilience. I love that my community is good at pivoting. I love that there is room for grace and imperfection. I love that there is room to continue to try again. I love that there is strength in saying, “I’m upset about this, and that’s okay.” Things will not always work out. The Dale’s COVID schedule is a prime example of how important it is to flow with life’s tips and turns and roll with the punches. Our friends’ strength in what can be a series of hard life things is a lesson in deep love and grace and strength and trust. So even though my art group blip is just a little drop in the hat of disappointment, it’s important for me to remember that when things don’t work out it does not mean you FAILED (my worst fear). It means that you can look disappointment in the eyes and say, “I will try again.”

With peace,

Meg


I am a community worker at The Dale ministries. The way that I can earn a living working at The Dale means I must fundraise for my entire salary. The cool thing is that means I can share my work with you in hopes that you will believe in it and want to walk alongside me prayerfully and financially. Please email me at meagan.gillard@gmail.com to chat more about what this looks like. Giving can be done monthly or one time via CanadaHelps, cheque, or PAR.

Receiving is Rooted in Love.

The Dale is built upon the foundation of love and relationship. That includes our relationship with Jesus, and each other as a community. It means we are free to find peace and hope together, grieve together, celebrate and mourn, eat and worship and build trust and belonging. One important aspect of building relationships is the act of giving AND receiving.

As a staff member of The Dale, one might say I give a lot. I give my time, my space, our resources as an organization, my friendship, prayer, peace, cooking skills, pet sitting… you get the idea. It is my joy to work at The Dale and give these things in love and hope in order to build relationships with many folks in our community and lean into friendship and care. I give very gladly and only for the glory of God who has given me much as well.

A sign in our community garden, in which we grow and share vegetables and herbs.

However, learning to receive has been a lesson I have leaned into during my time at The Dale, and one I am so glad for. This is an honest truth, one that some of you may feel as well: It can feel awkward for me to receive at times. Especially if the gift comes from the last coins in someone’s pocket, or the business that they work so hard for, or treasures that are few for them. I tend to feel guilty being the recipient of someone’s “stuff” when they may not have much to give. However that is not for me to know or decide. In additions I believe that gifts of the heart are not rooted in money or items. They may BE money or items, but they are rooted in love. And that is what we are learning to receive.

A granola bar given to me by a community member. She had one for each of us.

I have been given many coffees, a porcelain turtle figurine, movies, rings and clips, prayer over my child, momos (Tibetan dumplings), granola bars, secrets and tears, hands to hold, forgiveness and love. They all vary in size. But to me, they are worth the same: priceless. They may cost something to give me. But they are worth more than money can buy because they were given in love. Learning to receive love has been a lesson that my value is not in what I can give as a person or what I am worth to someone else. But that we all have love to give in many forms. It shows love to give to someone. And it shows love to receive gladly.

Tibetan Momos freshly made for us for lunch

Just like Jesus’ love for us in dying on the cross, it was not because of our value. God knew that we were sinners. And still he made the ultimate sacrifice in love.

It has been a blessing to give of myself. And it has been a blessing to receive. I am so grateful for the care that we share at The Dale that is all done through God’s work through us.

What a gift.

In peace, Meg.

I am a community worker at The Dale ministries. The way that I can earn a living working at The Dale means I must fundraise for my entire salary. The cool thing is that means I can share my work with you in hopes that you will believe in it and want to walk alongside me prayerfully and financially. Please email me at meagan.gillard@gmail.com to chat more about what this looks like. Giving can be done monthly or one time via CanadaHelps, cheque, or PAR.